15 Golden Rules for Being An Emotionally Healthy Single Woman
- Acknowledge how difficult it is to be single in a married world.
- Make a real assessment of how much to blame yourself for why you are not with a man.
- Challenge your automatic assumption that you are to blame for being single.
- Question your “fix-it solution” for being single.
- Remember that men tend to externalize, and women tend to internalize relationship problems; don’t fall into that.
- Validate both sides of your ambivalence about being single.
- Validate your experience of society’s ambivalence about singles.
- Learn to and respect your intuition about potential partners.
- Unless you are willing to devote yourself to seeking a partner, like seeking a job, remove marriage as a goal of life. Instead, enjoy life, and you’ll be available and doing what you like when/if you meet someone you choose to be with.
- Identify deficit areas in your life and do something about them.
- Normalize your depression by reframing it as Ambiguous Loss.
- Think about ways to avoid touch deprivation.
- Consider how to include emotional intimacy in your life.
- Devise rituals to honor your single life — for however long you are single.
- Keep repeating you have no control over making an appropriate partner appear in your life; you only have control over making yourself as emotionally healthy as possible.
If you have questions or comments or want more information, contact me at:
Dr. Karen Gail Lewis
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