Three Categories of Friends: Enjoy Friends in Each
Do you find yourself doing the same things with the same people? Have you gotten in a rut? Have you forgotten about other things you used to do because your friends now aren’t interested?
Falling back on the same friends is easier, but it also may be hindering you from enjoying your time while you are single. Even if you want to meet a partner that should not interfere with wanting to enhance your time doing those activities that give you pleasure.
As you have settled in with the same friends, you may have limited yourself. If you think about friendships as having different purposes, you will see how you can expand your range of friends.
If you limit your friends, you limit yourself. So, expand your life and find friends in at least these three categories.
These are based on mutual needs, such as those shared with neighbors. You may not confide in these people, but they are a part of your life: taking you to the doctor when your car is broken or going grocery shopping together.
Socializing or Activity Friends
These are the people you may spend most of your time with. You may not share personal feelings, but they fill an important place in your daily or weekly social activities.
Even among these, you may have different friends for different types of activities. For instance, you might have symphony tickets with Joyce, so you go with Helene to listen to country and western. Gert is a home body and is a great bridge partner. Which is fine, because when you want to go hiking you call Arlene. And Marcie is a movie maven.
Don’t stop yourself from doing things you would enjoy just because the people you spend most of your time with are not interested. Think hard, and you probably will remember someone (even if you don’t know her well) who might like the things you do.
These are the women with whom you share your feelings, worries, and deep concerns. They may also be women in your socializing or convenience network. Or, you may not do anything else with these people, just knowing you have them for when you emotionally need them. Sometimes, these friends live in another city or state.
If you have questions or comments or want more information, contact me at:
Dr. Karen Gail Lewis
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